Hello and welcome all, it’s Jessie here.  You’ll be pleased to hear that I’ve got my very, very happy tail on today.  Two big reasons for this.  First, I’ve gone big time – there’s that word ‘big’ again – as this is my first post dictated to my man human especially for my very own dog blog site.  Wowee!  Can it get any better?  In short, no!  The site’s even got my name on it so you’ll know how to find it!  A sure sign of quality, I think you’ll agree.  Anyway, the second reason why my tail’s wagging ten to the dozen is that I’m going to talk about one of my greatest loves: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!! 

Yes, food!  Just can’t get enough of the stuff.  One of my worst nightmares would be a global doggie biscuit shortage, or at least one that I wasn’t personally responsible for.  Doesn’t bear thinking about – I can feel a shiver going down all the way to the tip of my tail.  Back to happier thoughts, mmmmmmmmmmm, much, much happier thoughts.  Those of you who know me or have read my previous posts on my human’s blog will already know that I’m a bit of a foodie and gourmet.  The description might even stretch to bon viveur.  Well, even that’s a bit of understatement – in fact – it’s a lot of an understatement.  Today, I want to share with my devoted public the full extent of my love for food – dare, I say – glorious food!  There, I’ve dared.  I told my humans, that a condition of doing this blogging lark was that I would be totally open and honest about my life and many loves.  Anything else would be unfair to my legions of readers: doggies, humans and any other creatures you care to mention…

Yes, I truly, madly, deeply love munching away at the old nose-bag, or more strictly speaking, tearing into the yummy contents of the much beloved, and very regularly used doggie bowl.  This love for food began from when I was knee high to a youthful Chihuahua.  You see it wasn’t just love at first sight.  Oh no, no, my dear readers it was love at first sniff, first lick and first munch, munch munch.  Yes, I admit it, food had me at ‘Hello little doggie, don’t just stand there drooling, tuck in’.  And I did!  It was the only polite thing to do, after all.  Food and I have got on like a house on fire ever since.  My love of food makes ‘Romeo and Juliet’ look like a soppy teenage crush.  For those of you who don’t know about Romeo and Juliet, Romeo is a boy Labrador who lives with his humans, the Montagus, down the road and Juliet, is a girl Jack Russell who lives with Capulets in the house opposite.  Devoted to each other they are but their humans said that their love could not be.  Very sad – sniff, sniff, sniff – but hey, ho, life goes on and all that… Oh, I’ve got side tracked again, which is just not natural for me when there’s the matter of food involved.  Anyway, back to the point, FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!  Now, I have very eclectic tastes, they are not limited to the specialist cuisine created by the greatest chefs for our delicate and refined doggie palates.  All very nice and usually bolted down with a sup of water before you can say…something very short indeed.  But, I’m also very strangely drawn to the food that humans prepare for themselves.  It seem so varied and colourful and the smells wafting in the air, well what can I say?  In fact, I probably shouldn’t be saying this, so keep it under you hat, but human food is sometimes more interesting than doggie food.  I often find myself using all my doggie charms (you know, the puppy dog eyes and all that head on the lap sort of thing) on my humans.  There’s even a result now and then and they let me have a few morsels.  Or, even a few more morsels and so on.  Suckers!  No, only jesting, I’m very fond of my humans and if they wish to reward my affection, well, who am I to argue?  But, sometimes I think humans know all too well that their food is tastier than our usual offerings and try to keep it for their themselves.  How many times have I heard my humans say ‘Oh Jessie, we’d like to give you some of this but it would make you unwell, so we can’t.’  I’m not an overly suspicious type but I can’t help wondering whether there’s a little deception going on.

How can I make my food love thing any clearer?  Hopefully, I don’t need to as you’ve got the message.  If you don’t, I can only suggest that you learn Doggie Speak so that I can explain it even more clearly in my native tongue.  But those of you who understand, who perhaps even share, my finer feelings for food will be staggered to hear that there is one foodstuff that I cannot abide.  I mean I tried to like it but it just wasn’t going to happen.  ‘No!’, I hear you say, ‘C’est non possible!’  Well, yes, there is.  Even a Superdoggie has her kryptonite.  An element so heinous that it doesn’t bear thinking about.  This evil substance is none other than – I shrink from mentioning it – Lettuce!!!!  What are you humans playing at by consuming this stuff?  I mean I’m not averse to a bit of roughage and fibre, I quite like having a bit of long grass while on a walk as a snack between meals, myself, but lettuce?  Well, I never…

Finally, as I come to the end of this first post on my own new dog blog, a quick mention about how my humans make me laugh.  Now, any doggies reading this will agree with me that our dear humans can be soooooooooooo cute.  They regularly come up with silly but charming ideas that are very amusing.  Here’s one that often has me in absolute hysterics.  It’s this human notion of ‘Enough’.  Ha, ha, ha.  Apparently, humans believe that there comes a point when you’ve had your fill.  After that point you shouldn’t want anymore to eat.  Hilarious.  Ha, ha, ha, yes, you just couldn’t make this up, could you?  Now, doggie readers try to control your laughter while I carry on.  Apparently – oh, the big darlings, don’t you just want to pinch their rosy red cheeks and say ‘There, there, there’ – humans believe that after we’ve emptied our bowls we should say something along the lines of ‘Oh, thank you, that was delicious.  I’m really quite full.  I’ve had quite enough.  I don’t think I could eat another thing.  Why, that’ll keep me going till this evening’.  Ha, ha, ha.  ‘Enough’.  Ha, ha, ha.  I’d better stop now.  Out of breath!  Laughing sooooooooooo hard I’ve lost my train of thought.  My man human is staring at me as if I’m acting weirdly.  Oh, don’t you just love ’em.  Ha, ha, ha, ‘Enough’.  Ha, ha, ha!  Ooooooh, my ribs are tickling.  Ha, ha, ha!  I must stop laughing so hard.  Ha, ha, ha!  Anyway, one and all, till next time…

Love, Jessie X.

P.S.  I found my funny humans and their ‘Enough’ – ha, ha, ha, through Battersea Dogs & Cats Home.  Their website is: www.battersea.org.uk.  I would also like to mention that other organisations like the RSPCA and the Dogs Trust work hard to look after doggies like us as well.